welcome to amreeka

So as you guys might know that I have now shifted my headquarters, or should I say, the awesome blog factory, to chicago, which is in america by the way, and no its not the capital, and yes its where the future president (of USA) is going to be from and yes its also the place where the Italian Mafia rocks (they actually have the sofa in Al-Capones' favourite club "preserved"... ewww...), and yes its near springfield where the awesome family of simpsons live (I sent them an email, but they never replied, I just dont think they ever grew into the future, cuz bart's still in 4th grade after trying to win Mr. Mischief of the year for over a decade in a row) and finally, as you might've noticed, I have become addicted to the simpsons...

So... how is amreeka different (spelling mistake intentional, in case you didn figure out y, I'm trying to hold on to my Indian roots)...well... here are some of the possible differences...

1. its a very very mean place when it comes to supporting poor people like me, u need to be able to spend about 28000 Rs just to cover your rent and food, home made that is, and cut out on booze, and if you are into smoking, thats it.

2. Chicks, well... they're there... but thats it... nothin you can do about them, if you can afford to get drunk in a hip club and with the help of 20 ml shots (cost: $5/Rs 250), then you can get some, untill that, sight seeing describes what best you should do... and if you got all worked up by the hot Indian ones you saw at the airports, they either dropped off in London, or got an urgent message to go back or something, cuz its just not possible that they made it to amreeka and no one landed up in a radius of 10 miles where you are... I still want to believe that "good luck" hasnt betrayed me...

3. Americans are poor too... trust me... so you can actually talk to them about the pathetic prices, and if you are lucky, they'll let you into their secret store or the secret market that opens at the river bank on sundays between 10am and 2pm.

4. You cant buy anything in small packs, an apple, $2, a whole carton of apples, $10, and they just dont care that you are gonna waste almost 75% of that... or they are just too poor at maths to figure out that there can be a price tag below $1 (Rs 47, last I checked).

5. The "Indian food" is not exactly Indian, if you are used to copiuos amounts of cheese and mayonnaise in everything ther, then its a different issue... and the ones that is, well... you wont be able to afford it...

6. your luck is gonna turn upside down, to think about it, you are upside down, all the time (THINK physically, transversing the barrier of mantle and earth's core). ya, so the luck, if its not working for you there, its still not gonna work, but if it is ther, it wont here, and if you are one of those who likes to blame everything on luck and can make excuses and stay happy, well, then you are lucky...

7. shoes (sport) and jeans are dirt cheap... and they are all made in Asia, cant figure out the economy though...

seriously, whats with the lecture, anyways, i'll cut it here, but the bottomline is, you MUST have a constant source of income (in $s), else, well, may god be with you, better, try looking for the devil, i have a feeling he might listen to you...

whatever...

just another... ya ya... I'm done now..

FS (forward script): I know this episode is goin a bit longer than usual but i also know that you guys have not been completing your new year resolution to ameliorate your pathetic reading habit (source FBI). so read on...

Final day:

I'll spare u the deatails... I know U guys dont really care now that its been too long since the last post... and to be frank I wanted to write about something else when I realized what I've done to my greatest fans... to Me and Myself, sorry guys...

Anyways... I got the loan, wrote the sanction letter myself actually because I didn wanna watch the 'good' man struggle with the keyboard, maybe I felt worse about the keyboard, whatever. 

Only regret, I cant fool anybody anymore with my Arsenal cap, actually its better, it saves me the trouble when a football enthusiast (and believe me there are many), or worse, a ManU fan (and there are more of these) comes and starts counting the times when someone missed some goal in some game anywhere in the last ten years and says Arsenal sucks. What do I do, well, I say ok, but they're gonna belt U this time, then they reveal they beat them hands down last week and that they are out of the league and I shut my mouth as these guys prepare their 'Arsenal' of jokes to go with the evening Beer. 

Well u got the point, I'm goin into Baseball now.

Cubs rule... beat that... 

PS: For once I am taking the better (easy) route, I'm in Chicago, and god save me if I try to be supportive of another team, sure the white sox fans try to contest me every now n then, its not as hard to direct their assault at the nearest cubs fan drunk n holding a pool cue though.

cheers...